OLD...

When, exactly, did I become old? I don't feel any different than I did at 30 but at 40, people view you differently.

Suddenly, you just aren't that sexy. Is that true or a figment of younger people's imagination. I vote for the later and would like to throw a heavy dose of hypocrisy in there too.

The same youngsters who would look me in the eye and tell me I am too old for this or that, are the same people who would jump all over Demi Moore, Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie. Ok, Angelina is in her 30s but still, if she were 40+ youngsters wouldn't care. By 'youngsters,' I mean the 20-somethings who think they are the shit simply because of youth.

Young women who say the same, would not throw George Clooney or Brad Pitt out of their beds so what's the BS about 40 being old?

That is what it is, BS. According to Aging Research, many older people are in much better shape than the young ones...in ALL respects, including sex. We have all heard the saying, "Just because there is snow on the roof, doesn't mean there isn't a fire in the furnance." The most strange thing about this is, younger people may think older people know nothing about nothing.

Before I go off on a rant, I have to say I was never that young. I realized years ago that as a youth I was lucky to know as much as I did. I did then, and do now, have great respect for the wisdom of older people while at the same time I'm amazed at the stupidity of youth.

So, what brought on the rant...nothing in particular...a few comments/jokes about my age from a certain someone who can't deal with someone at 40 being cooler than all his little 20-something friends.

As a self-professed girl mega-geek, I am a pretty hot catch for any male geek. Problem is, many male geeks are brain dead when it comes to girls/women.

The virgin myth

I wish I could say adult virgins are a mystery to me. Like some people who attract wife beaters, drug addicts, toxic-waste people, I tend to primarily attract one type of men -- virgins. I don't know why this burden was dumped upon me but it was. I have dated no less than probably four adult virgins in my lifetime and even married one. By adult virgins, I don't mean 18. The virgins I dated were all into their 20s, some past mid-20, my husband was about 26.

The first question that comes to mind is, how/why would a man want to NOT have sex for so long. Personal experience tells me it's because of sexual hang-ups. I know people will say, "I'm saving myself for marriage," or "I just haven't found the right girl yet..." but that's all crap. The real reason grown men don't have sex is simple, they have sex issues and probably intimacy issues too. Someone told them it was nasty, bad and dirty and they believed it then and still believe it now. However, at 5 years old your body does not work like it does when you are 25.

How does a man at 25 deny his bodily urges...an urge that wakes up in the morning. Well, abstinance pledges are usually the reason and these tidy little contracts create the worst virgins I have ever met. People promise to save themselves for marriage, "THE ONE" who will be their spouse forever. Problem is, the virgin's genitals don't get that message that they should -only- get excited for the 'right' person. When the genitals turn on for the wrong person, what's a guy to do? Commit a different sin, masturbate...and even worse, become a tease.

Male adult virgins find women who are sexually experienced and turn on the charm to tease them. They enjoy seeing a woman get sexually excited, it validates their egos as men to be able to get a woman sexually excited but keeps them safe and sound from intimacy (physical and mental) because they never fulfill the promise of satisfaction. In fact, the woman gets a great big dose of frustration while the man feels superior having defeated the demon of sexual urge. In fact, the teasing is just a masturbatory aid of a different kind. He wants her but she isn't 'good enough,' whatever that means, to have intercourse with. However, he may do every other kinky bit of sex available but still claim to be a virgin because he hasn't had regular old intercourse.

I tell my virgin dating buddies (only deflowered my husband) one day you will grow up and realize all that slipping, sliding and slurping is sex too. You didn't have vaginal intercourse but you were having sex. It's just a lie to say "I am a virgin" when you have had your goodies played with by another person. Stop lying to yourselves and get laid.

Dating rules

As a transplant from California to Missouri I have the interesting position to compare cultural differences between places. While both places have their faults, I understand more and more why people her are so tense about things...dating for instance.

Most people have dating rules. If you aren't a pervert, you don't scope for dates at an elementary school. If you aren't a hillbilly, you certainly don't look for dates at a family reunion. Those rules, i think, are universal. I'm talking about silly rules (at least to me) that dictate people's lives. They live by them and refuse to let such things go.

I know someone who told me today that he won't date anyone outside of a 3 year range of his age. Color me confused. What if you meet someone 5 years older or younger who just lights up your life. Oops, can't date her, she's not within range.

Or another example, this person said she will not date short men...they must be 6-foot for her to even consider dating him. That comment drew an even bigger WTF from me than the other one. This same incredibly deep person felt I was advocating immoral behavior because i cheered Angelina Jolie's choice to be a single mom.

People I have met here do that without a hiccup...say something shallow then follow it with judgment about someone else. I don't get it and hope I never will.