A Mother's Promise

I thought I was done blogging for today but then I saw this video about our president, Barack Obama. I became instantly inspired to write more.

Our president comments on memories of his father, mother, grandparents and his country.

"I was shaped more by (my father's) absence than his presence," Pres. Obama said. That is a powerful statement in these days where people claim their lives were ruined by an absent parent. But his mother saw a promise in him...and she made sure to give him the skills needed to fulfill that promise.

Very much like Obama's mom, I despise cruelty. As the mom of a special needs child, bullying will be a part of my son's future, much to my chagrin. I am tasked with finding a way to arm my son with the needed tools to not just deal, but overcome these challenges.

Something else I love about our president is just the way he appears to admire and love his wife. There are photos of beautiful moments when Obama just looks at Michelle and you can see there is a bond. That bond was created on their first date...AWESOME...and it appears to have longevity.

I watched Apollo 13 the other day...that was the date movie I saw with my future husband. Alas, grand blast-offs do not always end in a shining hour. Such an ending is not possible when the core family values are missing.

Obama describes his mom as "the beating heart" of his family. Watching his mom work hard, struggle and survive made an impression on Obama, just as my witnessing my mother struggle made an impression on me. I hope to make such an impression on my son. Some may say an Autistic child can not grasp such concepts but I say never sell a child (special needs or not) short. He understands much more than others may think.

Although my life is going through some very rough times, I know there are inspirational women -- single moms -- who are making a difference for their children. In many cases, the mom is their only hope for stability, love and a bright future. Although a former partner may work hard to wield the child's love as a weapon against that mom, she knows how keep focused on a higher goal. Although everything may seem lost and you are sinking into a dark hole, your child's love can be a bright light in that abyss. Being a single mom is not easy and many times there is no "small stuff" to sweat. All your stuff is huge, dominating and hurtful.

In those times, I'll think about our president's mom. She was a fighter and raised a champion...in spite of her child's father, not because of him.

Let's all go to the movies...and talk culture

Princess and the Frog
The new Disney movie "The Princess and the Frog" topped the box offices this past weekend earning about $25 million. Not bad but not fantastic either, especially for a Disney production. The movie goes back to a Disney tradition and breaks another -- the film is hand-drawn like classic Disney features, but this is also the first time an African American is depicted as the "princess."

I could pick apart the legitimacy of this African American princess but I think I am more happy that Disney finally took this move. I complained about the lack of an African American leading lady in Disney animated features years ago. People who love Disney criticized my critique and pointed to "The Lion King" as an example of "black-themed" story telling. Uh...first, that movie was about lions and other animals, not people. Second, the story is based on African culture, not African American culture. People who don't like Disney said my critique was unimportant...I still wonder if they would have said such things if all Disney films presented people of color and totally ignored white people.

I haven't seen this movie yet but I will see it eventually...movie-going is somewhat difficult as a single parent to a child who would rather play outside than sit in a dark theater watching cartoons. I have heard the lead character is actually creole, not African American. However, I am willing to just go with that...for now.

Another movie that caught my attention is the true story "The Blind Side." This film has been very successful, raking in about $230 million. I have issues with this movie.

The movie tells the story of a "homeless" African American teen who is "adopted" by a white family and becomes very successful with that family's guidance. I have a lot of issues with this story, despite it being true.

My first question to Hollywood is, where are all the uplifting and true stories about African American single moms who raised boys into successful African American men? The assumption with this story is, there are none because to make an African American child a success, you need a white person. As much as I dislike Terrell Owen's showboating attitude on the football field, no one can deny that his is successful...and he was raised by African American women.

When I first saw the trailer for The Blind Side my first thought was, "Were are all the movies about African American success stories where the person was raised by African American families?" There are more stories like that than there are stories about white people stepping in and magically creating a success.

Unfortunately, when these stories are told, whites "fixing" black children, some white people think that is really true and needed. Some white people get this over-blown feeling of superiority and truly believe if they "adopted" a poor black child, that child has a better chance for success in life. The attitude and the implications are all insulting to the African American families out there working for success. These families, who are the majority, not the minority within the race, are not recognized because many whites just do not want to see that black people can create successes without a white person's guidance. Believing a white person's presence in a black person's life automatically creates success is just as racist as believing predominately black neighborhoods are always crime-ridden.

I have no ill-will towards any of the real people depicted in The Blind Side. A true story is a true story. My problem lies with the choices Hollywood regularly makes to ignore the millions of African American families who raise successful children (ESPECIALLY the single moms who do so), in favor of one white family who chose to help one black kid and it turned out well. You will never see the reverse shown where a white family tries to help a black child, fails, and that child learns to be successful with a black family. That happens too but you wouldn't see it on the screen. I may eventually watch The Blind Side but I won't be paying $9 at the theater to do so.