The virgin myth

I wish I could say adult virgins are a mystery to me. Like some people who attract wife beaters, drug addicts, toxic-waste people, I tend to primarily attract one type of men -- virgins. I don't know why this burden was dumped upon me but it was. I have dated no less than probably four adult virgins in my lifetime and even married one. By adult virgins, I don't mean 18. The virgins I dated were all into their 20s, some past mid-20, my husband was about 26.

The first question that comes to mind is, how/why would a man want to NOT have sex for so long. Personal experience tells me it's because of sexual hang-ups. I know people will say, "I'm saving myself for marriage," or "I just haven't found the right girl yet..." but that's all crap. The real reason grown men don't have sex is simple, they have sex issues and probably intimacy issues too. Someone told them it was nasty, bad and dirty and they believed it then and still believe it now. However, at 5 years old your body does not work like it does when you are 25.

How does a man at 25 deny his bodily urges...an urge that wakes up in the morning. Well, abstinance pledges are usually the reason and these tidy little contracts create the worst virgins I have ever met. People promise to save themselves for marriage, "THE ONE" who will be their spouse forever. Problem is, the virgin's genitals don't get that message that they should -only- get excited for the 'right' person. When the genitals turn on for the wrong person, what's a guy to do? Commit a different sin, masturbate...and even worse, become a tease.

Male adult virgins find women who are sexually experienced and turn on the charm to tease them. They enjoy seeing a woman get sexually excited, it validates their egos as men to be able to get a woman sexually excited but keeps them safe and sound from intimacy (physical and mental) because they never fulfill the promise of satisfaction. In fact, the woman gets a great big dose of frustration while the man feels superior having defeated the demon of sexual urge. In fact, the teasing is just a masturbatory aid of a different kind. He wants her but she isn't 'good enough,' whatever that means, to have intercourse with. However, he may do every other kinky bit of sex available but still claim to be a virgin because he hasn't had regular old intercourse.

I tell my virgin dating buddies (only deflowered my husband) one day you will grow up and realize all that slipping, sliding and slurping is sex too. You didn't have vaginal intercourse but you were having sex. It's just a lie to say "I am a virgin" when you have had your goodies played with by another person. Stop lying to yourselves and get laid.