A strong woman

I was talking to a friend tonight about my recent life changes. He described me as "a strong woman." A bit more probing and he admitted to me that he has another female friend who in a similar situation as mine, did not do what I have done. To clear up the vagueness, simply put, her husband was not doing as a husband should but she was too afraid to divorce him. He wasn't beating her so that fear was not there. She was terrified of caring for herself and her children without him.

I immediately understood why the woman would be afraid. Statistically, after divorce women are more likely to have a fall in living standards while the ex-husband has a rise. This statistic is exaggerated but is still true.

Raising a child as a single mom also has an effect. Many men immediately disregard single moms as dating material because of whatever stereotypes they believe. There is also the belief that single moms are so profoundly lonely that they are, how shall we say, an "easy lay." This is also a myth but myth or not, women don't like being perceived in this way.

Being called "strong" is a strange thing because on one side, it's a compliment. On the other side, men are intimidated by a woman who can care for herself. I have to wonder why some men feel a woman who can care for herself is terrifying. A woman who can care for herself but chooses to have you in her life should be a good thing...right? If so, why do so many men run in terror when they meet a woman who isn't desperately waiting for rescue?

Not trying to be a victim here but my life experience has shown me that if I wait for rescue, I will not be saved. Years of marriage to a selfish person has taught me this fact and I continue to be educated. I tell myself he is who he is and it is best I seek to rescue myself. I think it's unfortunate that quality is seen as a "minus" rather than a "plus" in our society.