Dating over the color line

I have been accused of -only- wanting to date white men. That isn't such a huge deal until people realize I'm a black woman. The assumption that I believe black men aren't good enough is not only inaccurate, it's annoying.

I have dated black men in the past, I would in the future if a decent one showed interest. There's the rub...what do I consider a decent black man? well, what do I consider a decent man? Does skin color really make a difference here? Anyone reading should know I'm not that naive.

It's not just skin color. It's years and years of history. Black men have basically been thrown under the bumper of a fast moving bus for most of American history while white men have been the drivers. With a black man I share more than skin color. There is history, culture, experience, a world view in many cases. Black men are a diverse lot with much to offer any woman.

I have relatives who flat out say they never want to date black men. Wow! It's a sad commentary on how black men are viewed in society. Even if some perpetuate the stereotypes with the bling, etc., not all are this way and shouldn't be lumped as so.

Now for what many would call hypocricy on my part...why am I (a newly single mom) dating ONLY white men after being married to a white guy for 10 years? Good question...

I have found that black men have a lot of anger towards their white counterparts, ESPECIALLY if that white man has a black woman on his arm.

I was fortunate enough to have a date recently. Always a shock of happiness when that happens. But as I sat there nursing my Coke across from my date, I realized three black men entering the establishment. None spoke to me but I could feel their eyes drilling through the back of my head. Despite the fantastic conversation going on (I thought it was good, jury may still be out with the guy) I could feel the stares. I thought it was my imagination until I decided to look over my shoulder. There they were, all three, staring, no smiles...I turned back around.

About 10 minutes later, I hear them cancelling their food orders and leaving. Meanwhile in "blissfully ignorant white man date land," my new friend was clueless. I won't clue him in...why spoil his moment of sharing? Since he has dated black women before, I would think he would know but one can never tell.

The problem with diving into the interracial pool is the white men who say, "I've never dated a black woman before, but I'd like to try it..." That's like saying I have never had cupcakes before, but I'd like to try them. It puts a black woman on the level of an object and no one wants to be that. Here's tip to white men who want to date black women, don't say that when she asks if you have ever dated a black woman before. A better answer is a simple no. Or try this, no I haven't dated a black woman before. I think you are attractive and would like to date YOU for YOU!