Clarification

After taking another look at my recent post, I concluded that some, erroneously so, may conclude I have some race issues. Quite the contrary. Some of my best friends are white women...just not the type of white woman who has ever used crying as a manipulative tool...well, at least not in front of me.

Let's face it, any woman can use tears to get her way depending on the situation and the target of the manipulation. It becomes ugly when she uses it regularly and feigns weakness in the process but her true intentions are to control the situation. When one pretends to be weak but is actually taking a position of power, that's called passive-aggression.

According to WebMD, passive aggression is "apparently compliant behavior, with intrinsic obstructive or stubborn qualities, to cover deeply felt aggressive feelings that cannot be more directly expressed."

I have seen women cry, pretend to comply with whatever made them cry, then turn around and do whatever it takes to obstruct what they just agreed with. This usually comes with an attack that if that other person had just been nicer, she would have tried harder. We know that claim is BS but hey, what cha' gonna do? Such a person is so wrapped up in herself that when she does not get her way because YOU had the nerve to need/want something, it is YOUR fault when SHE messes things up for you.

This behavior is not limited to white women, of course not. Anyone can be passive aggressive. Speaking from personal experience (and what other experience would I have? :) ) no sane person deserves to be romantically involved with a passive aggressive "partner."

One first observance is, he/she will never be your partner, not in a true sense of the word. While you blissfully walk through life believing he/she is by your side, that person is plotting ways to NOT cooperate. But wait you say, he/she said it was a great idea. You are fantastic for thinking of that vacation, that outing, that party at the house. It appears to be moving well until the time comes for the event and then your "partner" suddenly has this or that to do. The idea is still great but he/she suddenly has to get the car washed or any other obscure task to avoid the event. If you press the issue, suddenly this is YOUR fault because he/she was simply trying to make you happy by complying. Resentment builds in this "partner" until he/she feels justified in attacking you in various emotional ways.

However, I would never ask someone to simply take my word for this existing. MedlinePlus has a list of symptoms of passive aggressive behavior. Unfortunately, many look very familiar.

This sounds crazy, and at one time this condition was listed as a mental disorder, but these people know what they are doing. I'd like to think people who are mentally ill are somewhat clueless about their behaviors. I think passive aggressive people are clearly aware of their behavior and its effects. They spend so much time pretending to comply and avoiding the truth while simultaneously sabotaging everyone else that they have to be aware of the damage. This is why they are so adept at "acting sullen." If they jumped for joy after creating havoc, people would see their true nature and avoid them like the plague.