White women, Black women

I had a talk with various influential people in my life about a subject that I pretty much knew the answer to already. The conversation came up out of curiosity and general annoyance with men...well, some men anyway. The subject is simple on the surface but infinitely complicated if examined...white women and black women in our society. The question was deceptively simple, "Why do men, ALL men, tend to treat white women better than black women?"

My very wise informer said it was a hold over from slavery. Basically, black women were sex objects and got used. Black women were impregnated by men, both white and black, then left to raise children alone. White men were usually their owners so the black woman had no say in the sexual encounter in many cases. Sometimes sex was mutually desired but if the woman was a slave, she raised biracial children alone. In some cases, a black man would impregnate the black women because that was his "job." In a slave marriage, a black man could be sold. The result was the same, the black woman was alone with children fending for herself.

By contrast the white woman was seen as the ultimate jewel. She was a beautiful thing to behold and should be cared for and loved. She has the luxury of depending on a man to care for her, keep her from harm and when she falls, he (whether black or white) is there to help her up.

Still, when confronted with conflict, problems and challenges, the white woman will turn to her master weapon of manipulation...tears. Why do white women, many affluent white women, fall into a quivering, shaking ball of manipulative tears or bawling at the slightest sign of a problem? The tears can be followed by many other manipulative devices; guilt, sex (either giving or withholding), silent treatment, which ever tool works best. These tools (with sex being a possible regular exception) are used on both men and women regardless of race. But why? Because it works! Men will fall all over themselves to help a crying white woman while turning a deaf ear to the wails of a black woman.

Other white women, I think in recognition of the tools' use, will flock to the aid of their manipulative comrade while many black women sit back and wait for the knife to their backs. Once a white woman's tears fall, the black woman can expect to be thrown under the bumper of a fast moving bus. This is the sentiment of another blogger I've read...another black woman who isn't exactly thrilled by white women tears.

I thought about that image and said it is a very sad fact that American culture has accepted the devaluation of a group of women based just on color. I am amazed that any man would look at brown skin and determine that person does not deserve or desire love, caring, friendship and a shoulder to cry upon in hard times. Of course, these men will claim black women are strong, aggressive and send a message that "they don't need a man." That claim is really just an excuse. A man who says that has already made up his mind NOT to be in it for the long haul with that black woman.

But to be fair, not all white women are the image I have described. But the ones who fit this image know exactly what they are doing. The men who accept this manipulation are part of the continuing problems of racial division in this country and of course, not all men do this. Again, the ones who do, know what they are doing.

Can this be fixed? If so, how? My opinion on the issue is simple, when men of all races treat women of all races equally, this problem will cease. Basically, if a guy is a jerk to a black woman, please, by all means, be a jerk to the black women too! Hooray for continuity!

One good example of a man who treats his black woman as she deserves is our new president. I have seen nothing but loving images of them. I hope that continues.

I also am very proud to see Michelle Obama as our future first lady. I know her image will help erase the very wrong and stereotypical image of the "ghetto hoochie-mamma." Black women are not second to white women and should never be treated as such or viewed in that manner. However, to ignore the fact is turning a blind eye to the obvious.

White women like their position of power in our society, even while feigning weakness and plotting their manipulations. White men before Affirmative Action never wanted to share power in the corporate world. Affirmative Action forced change in the business world but it can't cause a change in social attitudes. Hopefully, the images of a successful, intelligent and beautiful black woman will help knock sense into these men's heads.