Judging Autism

After receiving the diagnosis of Autism for my son, I guess I am becoming less tolerant of the judging stares people give. I saw a documentary on Autism and it appears many other parents feel that same sting of judgment.

When others see a child of school age in a pull-up, the assumption is that the mother and father are doing nothing to toilet train the child. People assume the child is running the home and the parents just are not taking control of the issue. I've heard I should just find an older "grandma" type of care provider...oh yes, make sure she's Black...and my son will be potty trained in a day. Or, just throw away or give away all the pull ups and VOILA! He will go to the potty when he decides he does not like the mess on his body.

These ideas may work for a child who is not Autistic but not always on the Autistic child. For whatever reasons, an Autistic child will have a meltdown instead of associating the discomfort with not using the toilet. The last thing you want to do is created an avoidance of the toilet.

Toilet training for an Autistic child is so difficult that there are books on the subject. Still, the most annoying part of any of this is the judging eyes from others, even children. Kids are told to be a "big boy/girl," they have to use the potty. An Autistic child will not respond to this source of shame. Autistic kids just do not care about that big boy/girl issue.

What people do not understand is Autism, to the untrained eye, is a hidden disability. Unless you recognize symptoms, the average person just sees a child throwing tantrums for no reason. There is a reason, we may not know it, but there is a reason.

The frustration an Autistic child feels when he/she can not communicate is very real can drive them to react with a tantrum. With Autism reaching epidemic levels, people really should learn the symptoms of this disability instead of passing judgment on parents.