Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

OK, I admit I am late to the party on this movie. I always intended on watching it. But for whatever reason I just never sat down long enough to get into this movie. I didn't even know what it was about...just thought the name of the film was kind of cool.

Also, Jim Carrey in serious roles tend to bug me. He's an excellent actor, that's not the issue. I just like him being funny.

So, I finally sat down and watched most of this film. It has a way of dragging me in. I didn't watch the whole movie, only bits and pieces, but I think I know what message it sends. If you were in a relationship, broke up and just could not deal with the pain of that relationship ending, what would you do? If someone had a procedure that could wipe away that memory and pain, would you take it? That's a profound question.

I've had several relationships over my lifetime, some good, some bad, but ALL have contributed to the person I am now. Take one or two away (along with the pain) and I would be a different person. Since I like who I am (for the most part) that makes it hard to say 'yes' to erasing any unhappy memories. However, that decision is with 20/20 hindsight.

At the time of pain, heartache and severe sadness, I can't say I wouldn't erase the cause of that pain. When a person is that sad, like Jim Carrey's character in the film, you just want that pain gone and if the memory has to go also, so be it.

A scene in the film that really caught my attention was when Carrey runs into his former girl and she behaves as if she doesn't know him. That's because she opted to erase HIM first. I think that would be more painful than the memory; running into that person and they don't remember you. I don't mean they -pretend- to not know you...they REALLY don't know you.

This movie provokes a lot of emotion if you are coming out of a very emotional relationship. It made me think...and it's depicted in the film...if I could erase that bad relationship, re-meet that person and start over again, would I opt for that? I honestly can't answer that question about any past relationship. I think they all ended for whatever reason and it's best to NOT go back. However, I also remember how much passion, excitement and fun I had at the beginning. To re-live that may be worth another go.

Judgments

I guess people could describe my blogging as 'sporadic' but it's not because I have nothing to say. I have tons of thoughts and opinions...taking time to sit and write them takes commitment, which I tend to lack upon occasion.

But, there are times when things catch my interest and I just have to comment. The thing catching my interest lately is how people judge one another...especially on trivial matters.

Putting things into context...at my job there are a couple younger women I speak with. Both are black and a bit darker than myself. One has a young daughter, the other has a degree in criminal justice. From that description, you can probably guess who has the issue with judging people all the time. Yes, Ms. Criminal Justice!

I was sitting with them both, let's call them 'S' and 'Ms. CJ'.
S began talking about her daughter. Like a proud parent, I had to talk about my son (the light of my life). I have pictures in my wallet of my son too. I showed the photos and Ms. CJ immediately said, "Is he white?" S said he was absolutely too cute!

To look at the two, one would assume that S would have the skin color prejudice being a single mom from the ghetto while Ms. CJ, supposedly educated with her college diploma, would be more open-minded. There reactions blew away my presumptions!

Well, it's not a secret in my family that my son's dad is a white man. It's not considered a huge deal...unless for the past 11 years people have been putting up a front when I walk into a room. However, it wasn't just the question that put me off...it was the expression on Ms. CJ's face. It was a look of disgust. I found out a couple days later that she thinks white men are all unattractive. She admitted she has never seen an attractive white man.

That is one of the most racist things I've ever heard. How can an entire race of people be unattractive? There is beauty in everyone.

Besides not finding whites attractive, I could see the judgment creeping across Ms. CJ's face...it was there...just like a screen scroll across her forehead. She was judging me as less than herself because I not only slept with a white man, I actually married him and had a 'high yellow' baby.

I just think...how limiting is that attitude!? She is a sad, judgmental individual. It shouldn't matter to her who I sleep with. She doesn't have to be with him so why care, why judge? Learn to accept others as they are with out judgment.

Words on a screen

Internet dating is a strange animal. It's not new to me. I dated online back in the Internet "Stone Age," long before Match.com, Yahoo Personals or True. It has it's pluses and minuses but over all the goal was the same...to meet a nice person you can relate to and hopefully build to something nice, good, maybe long lasting.

What was bad? There was no sorting of prospects. I would "meet" someone online only to discover this fantastic guy lived in Finland. Well, dating someone in Finland when you live in Missouri isn't very convenient. He wrote great letters though.

The good, well, every man I met was at least in college or a professional. Back then the only Internet access available was through college (that's how I got on) or through a job, a PROFESSIONAL job. I wasn't meeting ditch diggers, ya' know...not that there is anything wrong with the honorable profession of providing ditches. The most impressive thing was the amount of responses I would get from one posting...a minimum of 75 men would respond...almost all professionals with the occasional e-mail of someone only talking about sex.

Here's the ambiguous part of maybe it was good, maybe it was bad...there were no photos and just text to read. If you like reading like I do, it wasn't such a hassle. If you are a visual person and want the sorting and bells and whistles we have today, you would be out of luck.

But through all that dating, one still has to ask themselves when does the person on the other side of that message stop being just words on a screen and becomes a human being? I thought that issue would be long gone with photos and personality sorting but apparently it has not. People can text, chat, email for months and when meeting face to face STILL only see an object before them. It is perplexing to me how someone can talk to another human being for so long and STILL break that person down to just a group of body parts.

So what is a person to do when you find that your efforts to connect have resulted in yourself being viewed only as a masturbatory aide? You get up and leave.

Dating over the color line

I have been accused of -only- wanting to date white men. That isn't such a huge deal until people realize I'm a black woman. The assumption that I believe black men aren't good enough is not only inaccurate, it's annoying.

I have dated black men in the past, I would in the future if a decent one showed interest. There's the rub...what do I consider a decent black man? well, what do I consider a decent man? Does skin color really make a difference here? Anyone reading should know I'm not that naive.

It's not just skin color. It's years and years of history. Black men have basically been thrown under the bumper of a fast moving bus for most of American history while white men have been the drivers. With a black man I share more than skin color. There is history, culture, experience, a world view in many cases. Black men are a diverse lot with much to offer any woman.

I have relatives who flat out say they never want to date black men. Wow! It's a sad commentary on how black men are viewed in society. Even if some perpetuate the stereotypes with the bling, etc., not all are this way and shouldn't be lumped as so.

Now for what many would call hypocricy on my part...why am I (a newly single mom) dating ONLY white men after being married to a white guy for 10 years? Good question...

I have found that black men have a lot of anger towards their white counterparts, ESPECIALLY if that white man has a black woman on his arm.

I was fortunate enough to have a date recently. Always a shock of happiness when that happens. But as I sat there nursing my Coke across from my date, I realized three black men entering the establishment. None spoke to me but I could feel their eyes drilling through the back of my head. Despite the fantastic conversation going on (I thought it was good, jury may still be out with the guy) I could feel the stares. I thought it was my imagination until I decided to look over my shoulder. There they were, all three, staring, no smiles...I turned back around.

About 10 minutes later, I hear them cancelling their food orders and leaving. Meanwhile in "blissfully ignorant white man date land," my new friend was clueless. I won't clue him in...why spoil his moment of sharing? Since he has dated black women before, I would think he would know but one can never tell.

The problem with diving into the interracial pool is the white men who say, "I've never dated a black woman before, but I'd like to try it..." That's like saying I have never had cupcakes before, but I'd like to try them. It puts a black woman on the level of an object and no one wants to be that. Here's tip to white men who want to date black women, don't say that when she asks if you have ever dated a black woman before. A better answer is a simple no. Or try this, no I haven't dated a black woman before. I think you are attractive and would like to date YOU for YOU!

It's raining men...Halleluah...not so quick

My marriage is ending and I find myself returning to the blissful meadow or more likely, mine field, of dating. The re-focusing of one's mind from a single person, purpose, goal and life to checking out the field of prospects is interesting to say the least.

I went to a religious conference on Friday. The event spoke about bringing Christian values in to the work place. Interesting concept, interesting speakers, interesting that I felt surrounded by men who I viewed as a meat market. Tall, short, fat, thin, bald, long hair, short hair, black, white, business suits, casual gear...all loving the Lord (and probably their wives too). Young spicy numbers, classy mature men, the 40-ish crowd looking confident and set with their worlds. The 30-somethings, still young enough to be dangerous but smart enough to know what they are doing. Late-teens with tons of stamina and energy, 20s with stamina and a bit of imagination. The variety is staggering but put them through a mental filter, test the waters and you realize the “game” remains the same.

There are the men who you barely look at with egos so huge that they think you are in love immediately. Guys who fall like a ton of bricks for you, only to treat you like you have HPV and various other “friends” when they find out you have a child...or they ask for money and you treat them like they have the plague if you are smart.

Rich men who think you only want their money, poor men who only want your money. Sex hounds who say, “Hello, when are we going to rent a motel room?” The motel is needed because he lives with his mom and she won't allow booty-calls in her house. Men who won't touch you until you are properly wed, but are so horny they most likely will mount any vibrating appliance in the house, a washer on the spin cycle is always good for a cheap thrill...find the warm spot.
Men who chat you up, then chat you down. Men who want you to make all the moves, then damn you for being aggressive. Men who make all the moves and damn you for not being receptive.

Then there's the “Anything but black...” syndrome that seems to have grown. Many men won't even give a black woman a try. This is all general, of course, I haven't been single long enough to experience them all but I know they are there...lurking and waiting to waste my time.
Looking is a daunting task, finding a “good one” is always nice. What is a good one...that varies. Even with emotional luggage, a person can open up enough to welcome new friends and relationships. Are there good men out there, of course.

Mr. romance who treats you like a lady...opens doors, holds chairs, carries your coat, lets you wear his if you are cold. He buys flowers, candy, gifts or just gives you a nice foot rub on a bad day. He listens to your personal BS and of course, you listen to his because he wants to share.
The regular old “blue-collar guy,” this guy isn't fancy, isn't really romantic, certainly isn't going to shower you with tons of high-priced gifts but hey, you know when this guy loves you. There is no question about it. You'll be his “old lady” and when he says that, he'll mean it.

Sir with the slow hand, filled with passion and knows how to show it. This would be the opposite of Mr. Speedy Gonzales who wants to take you immediately to a motel. He takes his time, shows affection and lets you figure out when/if more will happen. If you decide more will happen, he makes it worth your while.

There are more men, of course, but dating remains the same. Tell to much and you risk blowing it all. Tell to little and the same could happen. Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow but it won't kill you. Whether it's their loss or your shot down dream, it's best to remember if one passes you buy, another will be along. Just wait for him and be ready when he shows up.

Cube news...

As I sat in my cubicle today pretending to work while actually emailing a co-worker about a photo he sent, our HR director bounced by. I usually ignore her when she bounces but the sudden ca-clack sound made as she passed caused me to look up. She was, of course, gone by the time I looked but she left a calling card.

Our cubes are metal hand-me-downs from some company that thought industrial metal with fake rivits and purple cloth trim and black borders was good looking. In reality, the metal tends to be cold and industrial, the purple is a weak attempt at accents and the black is just, well, black. Anway...I'm surrounded by metal.

As I looked to the area that generated the sound, I saw something new...my last name. I immediately didn't like it. I suddenly feel like a dog in a kennel...My name is (fill in blank). I have been here for almost two years, paid poorly but I am getting a raise soon. I should appreciate the company's efforts to make this a good workplace but that doesn't stop me from job hunting.

I commend my new employers (the company was bought about a year ago). They have provided new computers, phone system, working environment and mo' money. However, growth in the job is stagnant. I'm writing the same types of things I wrote 5 years ago...no growth potential. Instead of a malignant cancerous tumor that at least grows, my job resembles the benighn variety...a living lump of flesh that just takes up space without purpose. At least I have some fun co-workers.



Today, someone asked if black people could sunburn. You funny white folk.

“That Kid...”

I've learned a few life lessons this week...either learned them or got a refresher course. Maybe I shouldn't call them life lessons...maybe they are just moments to remember and ponder about people and the world.

The week started typically with work on Monday...nothing special. Life's curve balls usually come at you when you aren't looking. Off the top of my head I would have to say the curve came Thursday in an employee meeting in the form of new rules to govern the staff. I knew they were coming so I was not surprised. What amazed me was the dichotomy in reactions...youthful naivety to mature rebellion. I am more on the mature side of the issue, however, the mature people already knew there is no fighting this dictate. It is to be managed, like any other new unpopular rule brought down upon us by the 'benevolent dictator,' a name embraced by the person in question and NOT given by me.

The youthful naivety ranged from, “these rules aren't so bad – it's better than the last place i worked,” to “now people who aren't working will have to work.” Maybe I am getting old but both attitudes show a level of youthful ignorance that amused me. The attitude that this is better than the last place I worked is short-sighted. If you worked in a cesspool, then almost anything is better. The rules making someone do their job, that's just ignorant. Nothing can make a person work, only themselves. As i predicted and warned, the people that were supposed to jump up and be there for the new set hours did not follow them. All the workers who do their work follow the new rules. Oh the folly of youth.

Now to the neurosis part. Complaining about the rules to a co-worker yielded a bizarre response that led me to realize “that kid” can sometimes grow into “that adult.” So who is “that kid?” You know...the kid who had no friends, was neurotic and when you tried to be friends with this person they had a panic attack and YOU ended up in trouble for “bothering that kid.”

I shared my frustrations with the new rules with a co-worker and somehow my opinions and complaining became an attack...at least to this person. How this person heard me calling names and making accusations in a few gripes about the boss, i have no idea...then i realized...OH, this person is “that kid,” now “that adult.”

I have to wonder what makes “that kid” and further wonder how “that adult” won't fix whatever it is that makes them so neurotic. They have to know it's not a desirable quality.

OLD...

When, exactly, did I become old? I don't feel any different than I did at 30 but at 40, people view you differently.

Suddenly, you just aren't that sexy. Is that true or a figment of younger people's imagination. I vote for the later and would like to throw a heavy dose of hypocrisy in there too.

The same youngsters who would look me in the eye and tell me I am too old for this or that, are the same people who would jump all over Demi Moore, Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie. Ok, Angelina is in her 30s but still, if she were 40+ youngsters wouldn't care. By 'youngsters,' I mean the 20-somethings who think they are the shit simply because of youth.

Young women who say the same, would not throw George Clooney or Brad Pitt out of their beds so what's the BS about 40 being old?

That is what it is, BS. According to Aging Research, many older people are in much better shape than the young ones...in ALL respects, including sex. We have all heard the saying, "Just because there is snow on the roof, doesn't mean there isn't a fire in the furnance." The most strange thing about this is, younger people may think older people know nothing about nothing.

Before I go off on a rant, I have to say I was never that young. I realized years ago that as a youth I was lucky to know as much as I did. I did then, and do now, have great respect for the wisdom of older people while at the same time I'm amazed at the stupidity of youth.

So, what brought on the rant...nothing in particular...a few comments/jokes about my age from a certain someone who can't deal with someone at 40 being cooler than all his little 20-something friends.

As a self-professed girl mega-geek, I am a pretty hot catch for any male geek. Problem is, many male geeks are brain dead when it comes to girls/women.

The virgin myth

I wish I could say adult virgins are a mystery to me. Like some people who attract wife beaters, drug addicts, toxic-waste people, I tend to primarily attract one type of men -- virgins. I don't know why this burden was dumped upon me but it was. I have dated no less than probably four adult virgins in my lifetime and even married one. By adult virgins, I don't mean 18. The virgins I dated were all into their 20s, some past mid-20, my husband was about 26.

The first question that comes to mind is, how/why would a man want to NOT have sex for so long. Personal experience tells me it's because of sexual hang-ups. I know people will say, "I'm saving myself for marriage," or "I just haven't found the right girl yet..." but that's all crap. The real reason grown men don't have sex is simple, they have sex issues and probably intimacy issues too. Someone told them it was nasty, bad and dirty and they believed it then and still believe it now. However, at 5 years old your body does not work like it does when you are 25.

How does a man at 25 deny his bodily urges...an urge that wakes up in the morning. Well, abstinance pledges are usually the reason and these tidy little contracts create the worst virgins I have ever met. People promise to save themselves for marriage, "THE ONE" who will be their spouse forever. Problem is, the virgin's genitals don't get that message that they should -only- get excited for the 'right' person. When the genitals turn on for the wrong person, what's a guy to do? Commit a different sin, masturbate...and even worse, become a tease.

Male adult virgins find women who are sexually experienced and turn on the charm to tease them. They enjoy seeing a woman get sexually excited, it validates their egos as men to be able to get a woman sexually excited but keeps them safe and sound from intimacy (physical and mental) because they never fulfill the promise of satisfaction. In fact, the woman gets a great big dose of frustration while the man feels superior having defeated the demon of sexual urge. In fact, the teasing is just a masturbatory aid of a different kind. He wants her but she isn't 'good enough,' whatever that means, to have intercourse with. However, he may do every other kinky bit of sex available but still claim to be a virgin because he hasn't had regular old intercourse.

I tell my virgin dating buddies (only deflowered my husband) one day you will grow up and realize all that slipping, sliding and slurping is sex too. You didn't have vaginal intercourse but you were having sex. It's just a lie to say "I am a virgin" when you have had your goodies played with by another person. Stop lying to yourselves and get laid.

Dating rules

As a transplant from California to Missouri I have the interesting position to compare cultural differences between places. While both places have their faults, I understand more and more why people her are so tense about things...dating for instance.

Most people have dating rules. If you aren't a pervert, you don't scope for dates at an elementary school. If you aren't a hillbilly, you certainly don't look for dates at a family reunion. Those rules, i think, are universal. I'm talking about silly rules (at least to me) that dictate people's lives. They live by them and refuse to let such things go.

I know someone who told me today that he won't date anyone outside of a 3 year range of his age. Color me confused. What if you meet someone 5 years older or younger who just lights up your life. Oops, can't date her, she's not within range.

Or another example, this person said she will not date short men...they must be 6-foot for her to even consider dating him. That comment drew an even bigger WTF from me than the other one. This same incredibly deep person felt I was advocating immoral behavior because i cheered Angelina Jolie's choice to be a single mom.

People I have met here do that without a hiccup...say something shallow then follow it with judgment about someone else. I don't get it and hope I never will.

Whites only scholarship

Once again, a group of uneducated whites are trying to prove that they are discriminated against when it comes to scholarships directed at minority groups.

Joe Mroszczyk, president of the College Republicans at Boston University, created a $250 Caucasian Achievement and Recognition Scholarship. Applicants must have a cumulative grade point average of 3.2 or higher; they must write two essays; and must be at least one-quarter Caucasian.

The guy said it is to spark debate. OK, we can debate. He says racially based scholarships are 'ridiculous.' That's because he's a white guy...and a Republican. (and they wonder why many minorities don't like that political party)

He calls this "racial preferences." That is what is ridiculous. Specifying that someone must have a certain amount of one particular race (not even half, but one-quarter) is not a racial preference. His scholarship and attitude are in error because it presumes an equal playing field exists. Whites are not facing discrimination because a few minorities have created paths for success for themselves. In fact, it was the exclusivity of the whites that caused these types of stepping stones to be created in the first place.

If minorities had been treated fairly in the first place, such scholarships for minorities would not have been created. If we were treated fairly now, those scholarships would disappear. An example is with baseball. When baseball was segregated, the Negro Leagues was created. After baseball began accepting blacks, the Negro Leagues went away.

My last point on this issue is this...if whites really think they are facing racial discrimination in any form, please tell me which minority group you would be willing to trade places with.

Don't equivocate about having self pride...if minorities are so priviledged (your word, not mine) then which group would you like to be?

Can we gloat yet?

As I write this it is midnight and the beginning of a new day for the country. Thank God people pulled their heads out of the sand...or maybe a darker smelly part of their body...and now see what has been happening. It's sad that it took so much for people to stop being scared of the terrorists and realize what is happening in this country.

I think Nancy will be a fantastic Speaker of the House. Nothing against the other guy but finally, it is time for a woman to have that power. It has been long past time for a change. How many more people have to die in Iraq? We have lost that war, that is clear. You can't fight a concept, you have to fight a country.

I guess it is needless to say that I am happy as a pig is slop to see my candidates win. However, sadly, Sara Jo Shettles lost in Clay County. Sam Graves, Bush's personal lap dog/attack mutt, defeated her with his money and connections. Otherwise the people of Clay County would have to be just as delusional as our president. Graves votes with the president on every issue and cares nothing for the environment and rewards big oil. Check out his record. This I know from dealing with his people. He is too big a wuss to talk directly to the press. Yet, the people of Clay County re-elected the bum.

Regardless, things are about to change in this country and it is not coming a minute too soon. I love it when my party wins!

Can I hate him any more???

Ward Connerly is a piece of work. I can not believe this man but I must realize these types have always existed. These are people who sell out their own race to get spoon fed personal priviledges. This is Ward Connerly. He is leading a nation wide effort to destroy Affirmative Action because he feels it is unfair and discriminatory to whites.

Apparently we have never had successful white businessmen, presidents, politicians, or religious leaders. The white people of this country are being held down by blacks benefitting from Affirmative Action.

To let you know how sick this Connerly guy is, his initiative to kill Affirmative Action in Michigan is backed by the Ku Klux Klan. Did he disavow them? NO! He welcomes the endorsement from a group that sanctioned violence and murder of people of Connerly's race. He has stooped so low it is beyond disgusting. It shows a level of self hate this man has that is truly amazing.

Many whites in California, where Connerly was successful and many young minorities AND women are now suffering from his campaign, admired Connerly. Many white women in denial that they also benefitted from AA voted to kill AA. Now, I hope they really see this man for who he really is...a self-hating black man who would have helped slave masters kill other slaves to ensure his life was safe.

Man as God, more stem-cell stuff

As I studied more and more about stem-cell research and why opponents oppose
this issue, it struck me that no one is asking a particularly critical
question. Opponents keep saying that the cell created by SNCT is a full
human being. They say that cell is a clone. There is the problem.

If that cell is a full human being made in the likeness of God, how did
human beings create it? When a scientist creates that blastocyst, is he/she
suddenly elevated to level of God. That scientist, according to the
religious opponents to stem-cell research, has created a new human being.
Only God can create life so how can this scientist do so also?

The critical issue that the evangelists don't want to talk about is that to
create a "full human being" one must either be God or be doing something
that God allows. I saw this in the creation process. Many would say God
allows us to do a lot of bad things. However, those bad things are typically
a destructive process, not creation.

Also, if the evangelists oppose stem-cell research, they should also oppose
in-vitro fertilization. That process also experiments on humans...the mother
and the child. The dad, pardon the crudeness, just gets to play with himself
a bit then worry about medical procedures his wife must endure.

I support Missouri's Amendment 2. As a person who has done IVF and who has a
disease that may be cured by stem-cell research, I'd be a hypocrite and a
fool to oppose this.

Stem-cell battle

This picture is curtosy of KU Med Center

You would have to be half dead to not be aware of the battle over stem cell research raging in Missouri right now. Is it cloning? Was Michael J. Fox acting? Is Rush Limbaugh right? What does Jim Talent think? What does Clair McCaskill think?

Lots of questions. Now, First Family Church has jumped into the fray with all their opinions on the issue. The good Christians at that church have the right to speak their peace but do they have the right to lie and scare people? Apparently, under the guise of opinion and claimed facts, they do.

A sermon by Pastor Jerry Johnston goes on and on about the horrors and dangers of approving Ammendment 2 in Missouri. If passed, according to the reverend, Missouri will become a fetus farm and babies will be experimented on to create stem cells and cure diseases for others. One group of people should not be experimented on "Nazi style" to help another group.

WHOA DUDE!!! What does Ammendment 2 really allow?

Well, embryos from IVF would be used to extract stem-cells. The thing is, these embryos are destined to die anyway. They are embryos that will be donated for research by people who will not try to have a baby with them. The other stem-cells will come from what some call cloning. Basically, as seen in the picture, a cell creates the stem-cells. That blastocyst is created by taking a human egg cell, removing the nucleus and replacing it with the nucleus of another cell. That blastocyst then produces stem-cells but will -NEVER- grow into an embryo or a human being. This is what some call cloning. Basically, if you put that blastocyst into a uterus...it MIGHT grow into a human. This is what they call cloning.

Millions with horrible diseases will die while a few who are afraid of medical progress scare others who don't inform themselves.

I just got diagnosed with diabetes two weeks ago. If this process could find a cure, I am all for it. A blastocyst is not a human being. An embryo destined to die anyway can do some good. I have a strong belief in God and had my son through fertility medical treatments. I am totally in favor of Ammendment 2. I think it will fail because of fear. What a shame!

What a twit!

Talk about throwing a huge bone to the Democrats! I always thought Bush
wasn't very smart but to do this is amazing. He just shot himself in the
foot in our sound bite world.

For those unaware of the latest news, Pres. Bush was on ABC News in a one on
one interview with George Stephanopoulos. Bush said the war in Iraq could be
compared to the Tet Offensive in Vietnam, seen as the turning point in that
war. Anyone with sense knows we lost that war on multiple levels.

Now, of course Bush qualified his answers with explanations but the damage
is done. Any politician with a minimum amount of intelligence and sense
would NEVER say a conflict they created is similar to a failed conflict in
American history.

This is am amazing implosion of the Republican Party. Democrats don't have
to do much of anything (except NOT screw up) and the Republicans are handing
power back to us. It will be our unfortunate job to clean up after the
elephants. Anyway you look at it, donkey shit weighs less than elephant
shit.

Campaigns firing up...

As the days go by I notice that election campaigns are getting more and more fired up. The fight between Jim Talent and Claire McCaskill is getting particularly ugly. He claims she didn't perform nursing audits, she says she did and Talent is hurting seniors, not her. Interesting, the whole thing. They seem to be focused on talking about seniors and not much else. It's a "he said, she said" sort of situation. That said, I'll still vote for Claire. Talent isn't a good enough Republican for me to jump ship.

What Republicans aren't saying is they -need- Talent to win. I hope and pray the House and the Senate return to Democratic control. The Republicans have had power for too long and the corruption is showing. With issues like the Foley scandel how can any so-called "morally superior" Republican talk about Clinton anymore. At least Bill went for an adult woman and not a male child.

I've been listening to talk radio lately also...talk about grabbing for straws. They tout the good economy and completely ignore the deaths in Iraq. How blind can these people be???

Too long coming...

I think this moment took WAY too long in coming. Pres. Bill Clinton on Fox network telling them off!!! WOO-HOO!!!

This was needed and despite efforts to make him sound like a kook, he made a lot of valid points regarding the "right" painting him as the cause of 9/11.

Frankly, I don't think any one person can be blamed for the incident. A lot of people can be made to seem at fault but that just distracts from the fact that the ones at fault are the ones who committed the crime.

Bill Clinton advises critics to read Richard Clark's book. I think if they are very confident about their accusations, read the book then think it over again. Clinton said a lot and it was not disputed. Fox does ask Democrats questions they wouldn't dare ask a Republican...like, when bin Laden was gearing up and planning this attack, why did you say Clint was "obsessed" with bin Laden. They accused him of "wagging the dog" and the very same people who criticized him then, blame him now for not doing enough.

The Republican party is pretty bad. I think it's too much power for way too long.

Dying palms

The signature (although imported) palm trees in the Los Angeles area are
dying. Some would say that is not a big loss...they were brought to southern
California from other countries and therefore probably should have never
been there in the first place.

For me, I agree that they should not have been brought there. However, when
I think of southern California, I think palm trees. It is sad to see them
dying.

Apparently, according to an NPR report, fungus and old age are killing them.
The people of LA don't seem too upset but Hollywood will never let them all
go. People decorate their yards with palms regularly but I doubt you will
see a 100 foot palm in someone's back yard.

She's BAAAACK!!!

I haven't posted in a while but that does not mean things are not on my mind.

Right now, racism and it's ugly nature is sitting at the forefront of my brain. I work in a predominately white company and county. By "White," I mean a very, very specific definition of the word. At the risk of sounding like many White racists, I have plently of friends who are white. :^) However, my friends are white, in that is the color of their skin, not "White," as in culturally I pretend to be open to diversity but I really want all you coloreds to keep your place beneath me.

I never met White people until I moved to this Red state. When I started blogging I knew one day I'd have to write something about my experiences with racism. This may be a series, in fact, I can't see how it won't be so it is best to start with one of my first experiences...and there are plenty.

I attended the University of Missouri-Kansas City with a double major in English and Mass Communications. The very naive me (in regards to race relations anyway) had no idea why a particular White girl was consistantly rude towards me. I don't mention her name not to save her embarassment but simply because I can't remember it. I could not figure it out for years. Being rude is one thing but to actively sabotage my efforts at education is another.

We had the misfortune to end up in the same communications class working on the same group project...a study of high school culture. Our group was large so we split it into three sub-groups. I was on a group with her and another white girl. Long story short, when I made an attempt to contribute to the group project, she regularly shut me down saying my contribution would not work. Even worse than her was the other girl who would sit silently while this happened. She is the worse offender because people like that sat quietly while Nazis killed Jews.

This experience was stranger still. This was a school assignment but the two girls "required" me to drive to their homes in order to work on the project. I had what is popularly called a "POS" car and really did not want to drive to BFE every other night and then pray my car would not stall going home late. They sure as hell were not going to offer me a sleep over, nor would they come retrieve me if I got stranded...BTW, no cell phones in the early 90s so I would have been stuck.

I refused to jump through their hoops but why should I have had to? Why do Whites tell people of color to work hard to get ahead and then stand in the way of that progress. It's because they really don't want people of color to get ahead. These girls would have been perfectly happy to see me drop out of school. They never respected my intelligence and probably never will. These White people are WORSE than the Klan. At least you know where you stand with Klansmen.